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Sufferer cptsd for many years, my identical twin just died holding my hand and i feel nothing I have been enjoying living alone in my little hippie house above old town bisbee arizona Chrispy1 mar 18, 2025 mar 18, 2025 #1

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For example, whenever i hear about a young girl getting spanked bare bottom, my vagina clenches reflexively and i feel the need to masturbate It was the most emotionally painful thing i have ever been through So that's finally what i needed to tell

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I'm sorry for the length of my text.i think i needed to be meticulous

It wasn't easy to write. I've given some background on my childhood trauma in another thread To cut a long story short, when i was a teenage boy, i was made to women's shapewear Some class bullies thought it really funny to make the chubby class nerd wear a girdle

They forced me into it that first time, took. It was recently my birthday and my twin brother didn't respond to the three messages i sent him wishing him a happy birthday I did block him because he was reacting negatively to my expressed boundaries I am having a hard time with this because i didn't want to cut off all communication with.

Childhood my father frequently showed me pornography as a child, and i don't know what to think about it.

Even now, times still come when i seem to have an urge to masturbate in a way that causes pain and/or damage, especially when i'm angry or upset with myself Obviously i don't presume this is the norm, but has anyone else experienced anything similar? Nobody helped me, or my sisters and female friends, because most of them were complicit I now have an intense distrust of therapists

Almost invariably, they try to slap a diagnosison my beyond the cptsd I've been preemptively diagnosed as My older sister destroyed our relationship to the point of no return yet for the past 2 or 3 years she has been trying to communicate with me by sending me little gifs and poems about the sisterly bond and how much older sisters love her little sisters and i don’t understand it… or maybe she doesn’t understand that that shit doesn’t. I exhibited all of these behaviors after witnessing two murders at three years old

As well i started to masturbate at three

Although not abnormal, mine was excessive and nearly constant As i grew older i masturbated in public and in private or with a friend using all kinds of tools to achieve orgasms at a very early age, well before puberty. I don’t have a clue what i am doing I filed for divorce less than 2 months ago after living separate from my wife for 8 months